Accusations with no proof? It becomes just a bunch of mind games and finger pointing. Why do some people accuse others of cheating when they have no proof? This is a very good question and I have a couple of answers for you. I kind of touched on this topic last week when I posted – http://thatthingcalledlife.com/2017/08/28/inability-to-trust/
This week I am going to talk about another perspective which is insecurity. Insecurity means uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. I can go in on the definition alone, but I am going to chill and jump right into the topic at hand. Some people know that they are not giving their partner everything that he or she needs and deserves, so they think that their significant other will find those things in someone else. Has anyone experienced this before?
Let me take it a little further. Your partner may not even be accusing you because they themselves are cheating. It can also be that one side of the relationship involves a cheating spouse who previously broke the trust that was never rebuilt because behaviors never changed. Sometimes a measure to help there could be to hire an investigator to confirm or debunk this anxiety, but this may or may not be feasible depending on circumstance. Another angle could be that the person being accused never has the time to cultivate the relationship into what it can be which makes the neglected partner feel inadequate and not an important factor?
All of these things feed insecurities. If a person doesn’t feel secure in their position in your life, then there are going to be problems. I promise you that. Insecurity feeds so many other nasty emotions like jealousy, manipulation, being vindictive; just to name a few. The list goes on and on. When a person becomes insecure, they become unbalanced. I myself have been in a space of insecurity and it was the worst feeling ever. NOTE: If you feel insecure in your relationship, let your partner know how you are feeling immediately. Don’t keep burying your needs – trust me!!!
Here’s how to rid your relationship of insecurity:
- Show your partner that they hold an important position in your life
- Let others know that your partner holds an important position in your life. If you disrespect your relationship, then other people feel that they can do the same
- Make your partner feel like they are a priority. Don’t make your partner feel like they are your last resort
- Encourage and support your partner. If you are not their biggest fan, then it doesn’t make sense
- Communicate so that there are no misunderstandings
- Spend time together, learning one another. We all change frequently, stay connected. If you don’t then you just might wake up one day to a complete stranger whom you have known for a very long time. It happens
These items are just a tad bit of the things that can be done to remove insecurity from rearing it’s ugly head up in your relationship. Remember that a partner making accusations of you cheating doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cheating. It could just be a cry for your attention and understanding of their lack in the relationship. Peace and blessing!!!
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