January 18, 2022

That Thing Called Life

Let's share our experiences together.

Inability to Trust When You’re the One Cheating

Inability to Trust

Inability to Trust

There is always an inability to trust when you’re the one cheating in a relationship.  I call it having a guilty conscience.  The one who is constantly accusing their partner of cheating is usually the one being disloyal and unfaithful.  Let me be clear.  Cheating is not just sleeping with someone.  Cheating is also spending time with someone and connecting with them on an emotional level.  I have heard people say don’t cheat in the relationship, just leave.  However, if you connected with someone other than your partner on an emotional level prior to leaving, then you already cheated before you walked out of the door (especially if you let that person into the intimate workings of your relationship).  Sorry not sorry.  It’s real in these TTCL streets.

It doesn’t matter how honest and transparent you are in the relationship.  If the person has it in their mind that you are capable of doing to them what they are doing to you, then there is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise.  With that being said, leave the relationship.  I don’t care how much they say they love you.  If there is no trust, what type of relationship is it in the first place?  You will have a lifetime on confusion.  I am here to tell you that God is not associated with confusion.  Does anyone agree with what I am saying to you?

I promise you that there will always be confusion.  If there is inability to trust, then you will be constantly on eggshells and trying to prove that you are not cheating.  Is that anyway to live?  Is that a relationship?  How is that love?  Now if you have cheated and your partner “forgave” you that still doesn’t justify them keep accusing you of cheating.  You know what that tells me?  It tells me that your partner never forgave you.  If they forgave you, they would not keep accusing you or throwing it up in your face.  I am not saying that you can’t work your relationship out after infidelity, but there has to be a commitment by both parties.  Plus, the actions of the now should not look anything like the actions of the past (what led to the cheating).  If you do eventually breakup, nine times out of ten you will realize that you were the only one who was loyal in the relationship.

Remember to look for the red flags.  Let me correct that – you need to take action when you are presented with or shown those red flags.  We tend to be caught up in our need to be loved and in a relationship that we don’t set boundaries.  BOUNDARIES HAVE TO BE SET IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP.  However, if you don’t have self-worth, people will run all over you then make you feel like you are wrong for saying no more.  If there are no boundaries, you will most definitely have chaos.  Sorry for all of the if, then statements but it is very necessary for this particular topic.

My advice:  make sure you are 100% whole before getting into relationships – heal your heart.  People need to stop jumping from one relationship to relationship without healing or completely closing the door of the old relationship.  If you don’t allow yourself time to heal, then you will find yourself looking for someone to complete you and I guarantee the person you connect with will be just as broken as you.  Let’s be honest though, no one is perfect so there will be challenges in every relationship.  There is another level of dysfunction and issues when both people are broken.  Watch for those red flags.  Don’t just watch though, take action accordingly.

Best Wishes!!!




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