Cheating and staying. The question came to mind – Why do people continue cheating and staying instead of just leaving? Cheating on their partner and staying. Getting cheated on and staying. Many times than not, a person will rather stay in the relationship for selfish reasons. Now let me be clear I am talking about committed relationships, not dealing with this one and that one. I am referring to the telling to someone that they are your significant other. Do you think that they stay because they just can’t be without their significant other? Do you think that they stay because they recognize the value in their significant other? Do you think that they stay because they don’t want anyone to have their significant other? Do you think that they stay because they want their cake and eat it too? Do you think that the stay because they just don’t care? Do you think a person can love their partner and still cheat? As you can see there are so many questions.
In my lifetime, I have been cheated on and I have cheated. I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t fallen into one or both of these categories. I will say that cheating is a choice and staying after the betrayal is a choice also. Let’s get into this thing.
Cheating and Staying
In my experience, cheating and staying was an absolute choice. I believe that we decide to cheat out of hurt and pain. We just don’t care that it will bring about more hurt and pain; damage to an already tainted relationship. I say that because you go and cheat knowing that if your partner finds out they are going to be devastated. Knowing that information still didn’t stop the act of cheating though, now did it? Nope! Based on that, I know for a fact that people who cheat do it for selfish reasons. People cheat out of their own hurt. It is a vicious cycle – for real. Have you heard people say “I am going to get them before they get me” or “I am on get back for what they did to me”. I know I am not the only who heard or may have said it. Keep it 100! This is that thing called life.
I don’t think people go into cheating thinking they will ever lose their partner. However, in order for them to cheat there is something missing in their life. What’s missing – a foundation of love. Not that the relationship doesn’t have love, the person doesn’t have a foundation of love within themselves. So they rather shatter their partner’s heart and mind by continuously doing the wrong thing. That is crazy right? Well, it is reality. If you are the one who is staying and getting cheated on, then you don’t have a foundation of love either because you don’t know what love should be. The person staying needs just as much self-work as the person who is cheating.
People have been cheated on and stay then became bitter, mean, and resentful toward their partner. One thing I learned though is that if you do decide to stay after infidelity, you better had truly forgiven. If you haven’t forgiven your partner, then you will have more issues going forward. If you are the one who cheated, then you cannot continue with the behavior and activities that opened the door for you to jeopardize losing your relationship. If you don’t, you may as well let your partner go because you are going to continue to cause them great pain. Why would you want to cause your partner pain continuously? How can you say that you love that person and knowingly break their heart?
I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like love to me. I am not saying that a person that cheats doesn’t love their partner. I am saying that something is off and that person has some internal issues they need to deal with. For me, I recognized that I had baggage I needed to face and deal with. God provided me with understanding, clarity, and peace. I had to forgive everyone and let go of everything that has ever hurt me in order for me to love fully and completed. I also recognized that I needed to love myself first in order to love anyone else. God said for us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves right. Think about that seriously. I know for me, no longer will I punish anyone for my past hurt and pain because I let it all go. I will love!!! Love can conquer all things and that is real.
What are your thoughts on cheating and staying? Let us hear your thoughts today on the topic.