Today I had that check myself and ask what I do? What was my role in this here situation? From time to time we find ourselves in crazy situations. You might experience circumstances that you would never imagine, but for one reason or another you got there. Often feels one or more of the following: anger, frustration, confusion, playing the victim, woo is me, etc. Here are some steps you need to take instead of wallowing in any of the aforementioned thoughts or emotions:
- Evaluate how things got to the point of no return. Recount everything that led up to the crazy situation. What was done? What was not done? Who said what? You get the point. In order for you to move to the next step, you need to do a complete deep dive. In other words, pull back the layers on that onion.
- Identify the role you played. Reflect on your feelings, your actions, your gestures, your comments, everything. By doing this you get to understand or determine what triggered what. You will be able to see how you could have done things differently or better. Maybe you should not have yelled or been so sarcastic. Maybe you could have listened or asked more clarifying questions. Whatever it is, be 100% real. CLARIFICATION: I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU ASSUME THE BLAME OR THAT YOU SHOULD NOT STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT!!!!
- Determine if there is a way to salvage/recuperate. Figure out if anything can be done to get back on the right track. Is what you identified truly doable? Is this really something you want to save? Let it be known that you recognize you role in the situation; however, let it be known what was done that offended you.
- Figure out what you need to do to move forward if this “thing” cannot be saved. If it is not something you can or want to save, determine what actions you will take to leave the environment. There is no reason to stay and everyone be miserable.
- Make peace with your decision. If your decision feels good to you, then that is all that matters. When you are at peace with thing, everything else will fall into place.
- Let go!
You know the funny thing is that before stuff hits the fan, I normally am already on number four. I am speaking the truth, real talk. I have been in several situations where I didn’t fully understand why I was taking certain steps and actions until the event happens. Example: In October 2004, I was in the process of making my benefit changes. I have been selling my leave for years, but this time I did not take the option. In January 2005, I became pregnant with my daughter and was off for 5 months. Now you may think I was planning to have another baby, but nope our first child was 7 years old. Let me go a little farther, and I did not realize this until just now (as I am writing this post). Note to self, I need to get back to journaling. In planning out my goals and objectives for 2014, I wrote down a symbol for each month of the year. I will share with you the reading for August and September.
- August symbol is Moment to Moment – you must stay alert in the here and now. Be available to the things that come your way when they come your way. If you fall, dust yourself off, smile, and carry on. The only right person is one who lives moment to moment. So many things came my way this month: new clients, tons of lovely subscribers to this blog, clothes used in a fashion show (to name a few, I am so thankful). One thing I will call out is that I also fell down figuratively. I have picked myself up, dusted off, and carrying on.
- September symbol is Thunderbolt – from a storm you will emerge in a better place/space. Watch destruction with detachment. It’s a process! This shines light into the direction my event today is heading, but I have been detached for some time now in wait mode. Many times I tried to do this differently, but it was like I could not move. I prayed and received an answer to wait (so I listened).
Don’t worry, I will provide all the juicy details later because I cannot discuss right now. I have shared all of this to get this situation off my mind and to help someone going through a crazy situation. When things go wild follow the steps outlined in this post and do not forget to ask yourself what I do? Side note: listen to that voice inside! Best Wishes! Tashia