I am sitting here watching this show, Extreme Weight Loss. The lady on the show was 347 pounds and was targeting to lose 200 pounds over the course of a year. She never had weight issues in high school. The turning point in her life was when she gave her child up for adoption because she couldn’t care for him 19 years ago. She is married to a man for 17 years that is she is supporting because he wants to be a professional golfer. This isn’t an issue if he was initially being emotionally supportive and helping her out in any way he could. The issues caused her to turn to food and alcohol for comfort. Wow, this is topic is real. People tend to try to hide their pain with various substances. It can be food, drugs, drinking, abusive relationships, being promiscuous. I see so many shows on TV like Intervention, Hoarders, and My 600 Pound Life. You can see in the people’s eyes that they are in pain. Not by the weight, not by the abuse they are putting their bodies through, not because of the masses of objects they’ve collected that consumed their homes, but from something deep within. I feel the pain through the TV. They are on the path of destruction. I strongly believe there is a reason for everything. There isn’t a person in this world who would try to commit suicide or harm themselves or others for no reason.
I myself have experienced transgressions that caused me to be in a not so good space. In order for me to deal with my issues, I started drinking alcohol in my early teens. I had my own apartment by the age of 18 because I felt that had to take care of me. I have dealt with low self-esteem. When I lost my mom at the age of 21, I stopped caring about everything and everybody and became withdrawn. The only thing that saved me was the fact I was pregnant with my son (thank God). However, I still did not deal with my issues. When I started gaining weight as an adult, I became self-conscious and embarrassed which caused me to withdraw even more. How could I allow myself to get like this and how do I get off this path of destruction? Not the girl that liked to hang out with friends and family. Not the girl who loved to laugh. Not the girl who loved life. I finally realized that I had to face my issues and stop running. This exposed the answer to why and how I let myself get to that place. I had to forgive. I had to accept that I have all the power and control. I had to know that I can make a change.
What’s going to click for you to make you wake up? What’s going to make you say that you are worthy? What going to make you stop blaming yourself? What’s going to rock you so much to make you realize food, drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity (whatever) is not the answer because the issue you are trying to run from will be there when you come down from your high. You have to love yourself where you are. You have to let go of the past. The longer you hold on, your offender(s) continues to win and have control.