September 20, 2021

That Thing Called Life

Let's share our experiences together.

Giving So Much of One’s Self!

Like so many women, I tend to neglect my feelings and desires in the name of love. The love will be that for my family. I just watched a fabulous 80 year old woman on Britain’s Got Talent. She gave up dancing to raise her children and care for her husband. After her children were all grown up and her husband passed away, only then did she turn back to dance.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want this for my life. Why do us as women sacrifice who we are and what we want to be for others. If we go after our dreams, we are looked at or feel like we are being selfish. Shouldn’t there be some type of balance?  Note:  I recognize that there are men who sacrifice just as much of themselves, but I am speaking from a woman’s point of view (my experience).


Here is one example of me not doing something that I want to do. For years, I have had a burning desire to start my own clothing line. I have tons of designs, done so much research, attended tons of classes (to include traveling to other states); however, I feel guilty when I begin executing my plan. The guilt I feel is related to me not being there for my family {there is also fear, but that can be discussed in another post (Why fear anything when you have faith?)}. My main concern is taking time and money from what can be invested into my family.

Question – why should I be unhappy and unfulfilled in order for my family to be happy? Now don’t take this the wrong way, my family is my world. There is just another piece of me that needs to be fulfilled, in order for everything to be complete. I give myself permission to add to my life!

Can you relate?


  1. Take time for you – whether it is a 30 minute meditation session or a stroll around the lake. I will do something alone. Throw on the ear buds and zone out!
  2. Focus daily on the driver behind your decisions – is my decision based on what I want or what I feel others want. If it is the latter, that is okay. Just need to understand what motivates the decisions made. I will make my decisions based on what feels right to me!
  3. Spend more time doing the things you love to do – from drawing to sewing. I am officially starting my clothing line (Kaiya’s Kloset)! No more dibbling and dabbling – full steam ahead!
  4. Pamper you – It is not selfish to treat yourself to something nice every once in a while. I did this on Wednesday past. I said I wanted to go to the Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, my husband didn’t want to go, and I purchased tickets anyway! I will be at the show (maybe I will take one of my children with me). Hey, doing it for me!


Stop neglecting yourself, this can make you become resentful and bitter. Always remember your dreams and desires are there for a reason. Find your own meaning. Everyone is important, this includes you!

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